We think making a wedding registry is one of the most exciting, fun parts of being engaged. It’s also a great opportunity to bond with your partner and explore your individual and collective interests and aspirations for your shared future together.
In some ways, a registry is an engaged couples’ first public proclamation of who they are and what they value. More tangibly, it can facilitate the single biggest influx of personal belongings couples will experience in their lives. So in many ways, it’s a process couples should not take lightly and should thoroughly consider all the implications of.
One of the most common pieces of feedback we hear from both newlyweds and couples who have been married for much longer is that they wish they would have done something different with their registry or wouldn’t have overlooked a particular detail.
The list below is our attempt to help couples avoid some of these common pitfalls and select products that will be a lasting expression of their shared values, interests, and priorities for years to come. We also think avoiding these common mistakes will improve your guests’ gift-giving experience and make it less likely they will venture off registry.
Common mistakes couples make when registering
Registering for too many or too few items
Couples may get carried away and add too many items to their registry, resulting in an overwhelming list of items for guests to navigate. This can result in couples receiving duplicate items or items they don’t truly need. On the other hand, some couples may not add enough items, leaving guests with limited selection or a poor mix of items to choose from.
Not considering their guests budgets (large or small)
Failing to consider guests’ budgets, large or small, can put them in the awkward position of feeling compelled to spend less or more on a couple than they had hoped or planned to because of limited options or a poor mix of items.
Not updating or refreshing your registry
Neglecting to update your registry regularly can result in guests purchasing items that have already been fulfilled or are no longer needed or not having enough items to choose from, especially after a pre-wedding event like a shower or bachelorette party.
Lack of variety
A registry that lacks diversity in price points and types of gifts can be limiting for guests. Offering a range of items allows guests with different budgets to find suitable items. Nothing is worse than a guest viewing a registry and only finding a picked-over mix of random items that cannot easily be combined into a cohesive gift.
Not considering shipping costs or post-wedding delivery options
Couples should consider where they’ll be after the wedding and how and when they’ll receive their gifts. Many registry providers offer custom delivery options such as delayed fulfillment or shipping to alternate addresses between certain dates to avoid packages piling up outside your home when you are out of town. Couples should also consider how reasonable certain retailers are when it comes to shipping fees. Some are better than others. It’s nice to give guests an accessible, in-person option for those that want to avoid paying shipping altogether.
Including only highly specific or personal items
While personalization is lovely, overly niche or personal items might not appeal to all guests. You and your partner might love the idea of having matching red satin pillowcases monogrammed with your initials, but will your guests enjoy buying them for you? Aim for a balance of personalized items and more general, utilitarian selections.
Registering too late
Couples should ideally set up some early version of their registry immediately following their engagement to accommodate engagement parties and other early celebrations. After these events are finished, couples can focus on creating a registry that is well suited to the size of their guest list and other planned pre-wedding events (work parties, bachelor or bachelorette parties, etc.).
Not considering the size of your home and storage limitations
Couples living in smaller spaces should carefully consider the size and storage requirements of the items they register for. Oversized items or gifts made impractical by your living space (e.g. a smoker barbecue if you have no backyard or a tiny deck) may pose storage challenges and create more returns you must manage.
Ignoring your partner’s preferences
Registry decisions should be made jointly. Ignoring one partner’s preferences can lead to resentment or receiving gifts that don’t suit both individuals. We recommend couples sit down shortly after they get engaged to talk about what registering means to each partner and what they hope to accomplish.
Using exclusively online or in-store registries
Opting for only one type of registry may exclude some guests who prefer one method of shopping over another. A combination of online and in-store registries (and considering where certain stores have physical locations) is more inclusive and is especially helpful for guests traveling for your wedding.
Registering for too many trendy or seasonal items
While trendy or seasonal items can be enticing, they may quickly become outdated or less useful for couples. On the other hand, failing to register for any trendy or more personally significant items can leave couples with a house full of meaningless items. Opt for a balance of personal and classic items that will stand the test of time.
Overlooking the practical or the less practical
An effective registry is all about balance. Couples who focus only on practical items like kitchen utensils and bed and bath supplies and fail to register for décor or other personal touches will be left with a collection of items that feel bland or impersonal. The opposite can leave couples lacking essential items they’ll be forced to buy themselves immediately following their wedding.
Not considering return policies in advance
Couples should thoroughly review the return policies of their selected registry providers before making their final decision on where to register. The last thing you want to do is be limited by a retailer’s policy and be stuck with duplicate items or items you change your mind on later. Returns are inevitable. Plan for them in advance and save the headache.
Creating too many individual registries
Having lots of registries spread across multiple stores or online list aggregators can confuse guests and make it difficult for couples to maintain their registries, track the gifts they’ve received, and manage returns. Try to consolidate your registries with three or four retailers.
Forgetting to plan for completion discounts
Completion discounts are one of the best benefits of registering with certain retailers. Plan for which discounts will help you purchase bigger ticket items like furniture or appliances. There’s nothing wrong with creating a registry with individual retailers solely to take advantage of their completion discount. You don’t have to share these registries with your guests. Be sure to review their discount policies to make sure you achieve any minimum purchase requirements, adhere to deadlines, etc.
Not considering your future needs
Think beyond the immediate future. Consider items that will adapt to your changing lifestyle or accommodate future plans, such as larger dining sets for entertaining or big family get togethers. Are you moving soon? Consider what limits this might pose for the number of items you accumulate early on. For items that are difficult to pack, consider keeping their original boxes and packing materials for easy transport.
Relying too heavily on cash or gift cards
While cash gifts are convenient, some guests prefer giving physical items they feel will have greater significance or sentimentality. The opposite may be true for other guests, especially those traveling from greater distances or those who can’t attend your wedding.
Not planning for thank you cards in advance
As gifts arrive, be sure to track who gave what to aid in sending prompt and person thank-you notes. Now days, most online registries include some sort of gift tracking tool, but inevitably, you will receive off-registry gifts or on-registry gifts purchased elsewhere. Set up a system for tracking these gifts early to avoid falling behind.
Not making it easy for guests to locate your registries
We are always surprised by the number of couples who forget to tell their guests where they are registered. Some wedding experts will suggest putting your registry information on your save-the-date or invitation. Others will say this is improper etiquette. We think putting your registry information on your wedding website and then including the URL on your invitation is a classy, understated option.
Final Thoughts
Creating an effective wedding registry is part art and part science that requires some thoughtful consideration to avoid common pitfalls. We encourage couples to seek balance across many registry attributes like item pricing, sentimentality versus practicality, online versus in-person shopping options, etc. Balance and a variety of options will make a registry work for the greatest number of guests and guest preferences.
Be mindful of your guests’ gift-buying experience. After all, the easier you make the process on them, the more likely they will be to select some of your most wished for items. Ultimately, your registry should embody your journey as a couple, showcasing your personal style, aspirations, and values. Enjoy the experience of creating and maintaining it.
