Deciding when to make your wedding registry is an important decision, but not a difficult one. Or, at least, it doesn’t need to be. Most of the advice we’ve seen online and in wedding planning books is helpful and points to the same basic principle: start as soon as possible.
We’ll start there. Here’s the TLDR version of everything we discuss in the post: start as soon as possible after you get engaged. The upsides of being ahead of the game and giving yourselves plenty of time to get your registry just right far outweigh any potential drawbacks of registering too early.
The only caveat we’ll offer for now (and we’ll discuss this at length in future posts) is that registries cannot and should not be static. They must be maintained and tended to throughout your entire engagement. Starting early, while sage advice, will expose poorly maintained registries for what they are: stale and ineffective.
While we are clearly endorsing the “as soon as possible” theory of registry timing, we will also give a quick nod to another commonly shared piece of advice: register 6-9 months before your wedding day. If you plan to get married 6-9 months after your engagement, sure, this is great advice, but it’s hard to interpret for other engagement lengths. It also doesn’t account well for pre-wedding events and how they’ll affect your registry. It’s not bad advice, but we think it’s improved upon by just starting as early as possible.
Understanding Registry Timing: Factors to Consider
In wedding planning, there are few, if any, one-size-fits-all pieces of advice or principles. Variation and personal needs abound in every aspect of wedding planning. It’s the uniqueness of every single wedding that makes the institution and experience so amazing.
The same is true for timing a wedding registry. As soon as possible is sound advice, but there are several factors that will influence exactly when couples choose to start the process.
Engagement Length
Engagement length is the most important factor influencing registry timing. Obviously, the longer you plan to be engaged, the longer you have to get started on your registry. If you plan to have a long engagement—anything over, say, 18 months—there are some benefits to slow walking your registry or simply waiting a few months to get started. If you start too soon, you risk having certain products go out of stock or on backorder before your guests start shopping.
If you anticipate being engaged for between 12 and 18 months (a medium-to-long engagement), you can start your registry right away (and probably be fine with backorders, etc.) or you could wait 1-3 months and then get started without needing to worry at all about falling behind.
If you are planning to have a short-to-average length engagement (6-12 months), you should start on your registry immediately after getting engaged.
Anything shorter than 6 months and you should stop reading this blog post immediately and go register.
Pre-Wedding Events
The second most important factor influencing registry timing is pre-wedding events (engagement parties, showers, etc.). You’ll want to do your best to make some version your registry in advance of these events kicking off. Some people who attend these types of events will ask for your registry and others won’t, but you should be prepared either way.
We recommend couples get together rather quickly following their engagement to create a small, stopgap registry with a few items you are sure you’ll want or need to get through these early events. Think about adding items that need less planning or thought for you and your partner like appliances or items for entertaining guests versus bigger decision items like flatware or dinnerware. These latter category items are less likely to be purchased as pre-wedding event gifts anyway.
Being prepared with a short registry immediately will keep guests who need more direction from venturing off to items you don’t want or need. It will also keep you from having to deal with too many gift returns while in the season of wedding planning. Trust us, you don’t need any more to think about during this time if you can avoid it.
We’ll be the first to admit that pre-wedding events can be a little hard predict. Take, for example, engagement parties, which can occur anywhere from hours after an engagement (for friends and family who may be on hand for or nearby to the actual engagement) to several months after. Most traditional engagement parties happen within 1 to 2 months following a couple getting in engaged, so you’ll need to get started quick on the stopgap registry we’re proposing.
Guest Experience and Courtesy
A final factor to consider when timing your registry is guest experience. You’ll hear us say this a lot, but you know your guests best. Thinking through who your guests are and what their preferences might be is an underutilized wedding planning skill. At the end of the day, wedding registries that make the gift giving process easier for your guests will be more effective and reduce the likelihood your guests will venture off registry. If possible, you want to have some version of your registry (even though we know it will be far from final) complete before your guests start asking for it. Try to avoid making your guests work to find a great gift. Make it easy on them.
Establishing an Optimal Registry Timeline: A Step-by-Step Guide
Considering all the factors we’ve discussed, we think most couples will be well served by some version of the following registry timeline. You’ll notice that we’ve organized this timeline by length of time from your engagement or to your wedding day so that it can be adjusted based on your expected length of engagement.
Early Stages of Engagement (the first 1-3 months post engagement)
We recommend all couples start the registry process in conversation with one another to discuss your goals, expectations, what you expect to get out of the registry process, what parts of the process you care most or least about, etc. This will put you and your partner on equal footing as you approach this endeavor, give you a better understanding of your partner and how they envision the registry process playing out, and, quite frankly, help you grow closer as a couple.
We also recommend couples use this early engagement period to inventory their household belongings. This doesn’t have to be overly detailed or involved; it’s more of a quick skim to remind you what you have, what you like and don’t like, what you no longer need, what needs to be replaced, etc. This will give you a good idea of what gaps you’ll need to fill in with your registry.
Finally, couples can also use this early engagement period to start researching where they might want to make your registry. Carefully research product selection and registry benefits (and policies: return policies, completion discount policies, etc.) for different retailers to make sure they’ll meet your needs and be well received by your guests.
Mid-Engagement Period (6-12 months out from wedding day)
This is the sweet spot for most couples starting their registry. If you aren’t sure where to begin with registering (e.g. which retailer and which specific products to choose), start early on in this period (around 12 months out). This will give you ample time to figure everything out, have plenty of time to make thoughtful decisions with your partner, and still make a great registry.
Now that you have your timing down, it’s time to jump in. We highly recommend couples plan “registry dates” to work on their lists together. Make sure this is a shared process with both partners participating actively so that the gifts you receive truly feel shared and meaningful to both partners. Once you’ve had at least a couple (preferable 3-4) registry dates with your partner and you’ve put scanner to barcode on a lot of different products, it’s time to move onto editing and refinement. This is where we recommend working at home, on your computer, rather than trying to edit your registry in-store. Spending time culling through your list, removing products you don’t need or want and adding items overlooked.
Last, and we know it seems early for this, but even 6-12 months out from your wedding, you should start discussing your completion discount strategy and making sure that you read and understand (thoroughly) your retailers’ completion discount policies. The last thing you want is to have not taken advantage of these great perks or have attempted to and misread some policy limitation.
Pre-Wedding Milestones (Completed throughout the engagement period)
If you haven’t gathered this already, we’re fanatical about keeping registries updated and tending to them throughout an engagement period. We think this is critical to having an effective registry and getting as many of your desired gifts as possible.
In terms of timing, updates can be clustered around your pre-wedding events and the last few months leading up to your actual wedding. We think it’s worthwhile to check-in on your registry a few weeks in advance of every pre-wedding event. Use these check-ins to make sure you have enough items on your list, that you’ve removed any duplicates or items you’ve changed your mind on, and double check that all your links that you’ve shared with guests work, etc. After your pre-wedding events, it’s worth checking in again. Were a lot of items purchased? Do you need to refresh with more items immediately or do enough remain? These are important details and will save you some time prior to your next event.
Alas, as you get much closer to your actual wedding day, around 2-3 months out, it’s time to start narrowing in on your registry in its final form. These are the last major updates you’ll make to your list before most of your wedding guests will make purchases from it, so it’s worth taking your time and getting this final check-in right. A lot of this final check-in will be focused on size and making sure, after your pre-wedding events, that you still have enough on your registry to absorb the wave of pre-wedding purchases about to occur. If you need input on sizing your registry for how many guests you are inviting, see our guide here.
Post-Wedding Considerations
And here you thought when you’ve finally reached your wedding day, your wedding registry to-dos are finished. They are, almost. We do think it’s important for couples to do one final check-in on their registries to make sure they receive and use any completion discounts they were planning on taking advantage of. The good news is most retailers know couples are going to be distracted post-wedding by their honeymoon, getting settled together, etc., and so they usually give a generous period in which completion discounts can be used (usually in the 2-3 month range). This may seem like a lot of time, but be attentive and, perhaps, set yourself a remind.
Finally, once you’ve locked in your plans for using any completion discounts, you’re on to writing thank you notes and managing returns. Congrats, you’ve reached the end of your wedding registry timeline.
Final Thoughts
So, when’s the best time to start making your wedding registry? Well, our short answer is: as soon as you can after saying “yes!” Sure, there’s no one-size-fits-all rule, but starting early gives you the flexibility to plan, adjust, and perfect your registry over time. Whether you’re planning for a long or short engagement, understanding the nuances of registry timing, prepping your registry for various pre-wedding events, and considering your guests’ preferences and needs are all important parts of your wedding registry adventure. We hope this overview will be helpful for you as you embark on the process. If we missed anything or you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out. So, without further ado, go ahead, pop the bubbly, and let the registry fun begin!
