On some level, we think most couples understand and agree that their wedding registries need to be updated at least periodically between the time they first make them and their actual wedding day. However, we think there’s a bit more to the process than most couples initially recognize.
At the end of the day, a high performing registry is a well-maintained registry. Put simply, well maintained registries increase the number and quality of on-registry gifts couples receive. Poorly maintained registries, on the other hand, encourage guests to make off-registry purchases couples may not want and may have difficulty returning.
The good news is, by employing the tips we discuss below, maintaining a registry is simple. It might even provide a brief mental break for couples from the more challenging parts of wedding planning. After all, who doesn’t want to daydream about all the incredible gifts they’ll receive?
Move on from thinking registering is a one-time activity
Through conversations with real couples, we are still surprised by how many view the process of registering for their wedding as a one-time activity: they spend a day or two with their partner scanning barcodes at a handful of stores, add their registry link to their save-the-dates or wedding website, and, boom, they’re done. We think this is an odd, intergenerational inherited mindset that’s made its way from the pre-internet, department store registry days to present times.
Registering is flat out different today. At minimum, we see it as a two-step process where couples register in-person, in-store and then, over time, make additions and refinements from home, online. But that’s the minimum, we really recommend the more strategic approach described below.
At its most basic level, wedding registry maintenance is about prioritization. It’s a process couples undertake to refine which products are must-haves, which are nice-to-haves, and which they don’t need, but want. This is an important process, will increase the number of useful and wanted gifts couples receive, and minimize the number of returns they must fuss with later. Additionally, we think this process can be fulfilling for couples as it requires discussion and envisioning their future life together.
Define and stick to a maintenance schedule
How often we recommend couples check-in on and update their registries depends on a couple things. First and foremost, the length of a couple’s planned engagement will have the biggest impact on registry maintenance. The shorter the expected engagement period, the more actively couples will have to manage and maintain their registries. The second biggest impact are the number of pre-wedding events (like engagement parties, showers, work parties, etc.) a couple expects to have.
For couples expecting an average length engagement (somewhere between a year and 18 months) and an average number of pre-wedding events (let’s say one engagement party, one shower, and one work celebration), we recommend actively logging into and updating their registries monthly.
In addition, we recommend couples check-in on their registries a few weeks prior to and immediately following every pre-wedding event. The check-in prior will ensure there are enough gifts to support the expected size of the event and that the mix of gifts feels right for the type of event upcoming (for example, girlfriends attending a wedding shower will make different types of purchases than coworkers will for a work party). The check-in following the event will assess how hard your registry was shopped and how many additional gifts must be added. Wedding showers are notorious gift eaters, meaning they make large dents in registry stocks. Work parties are less so where coworkers frequently pool their money for the purchase of a single large gift. Variation, of course, abounds and couples will need to respond to their unique circumstances.
Finally, we recommend all couples do a final, deep-dive maintenance about two months prior to their actual wedding day. After a lengthy engagement period, a lot can change about the makeup of a couple’s registry. For example, preferences on certain products may change, couples may think of new items to add, at least a handful of products will go out-of-stock, and couples may simply be running out of gifts. This final check-in is a couple’s last opportunity to address all these issues in advance of when most of their guests will be shopping for their actual wedding gift. Additionally, as we’ll discuss more, this final check-is an opportunity for couples to position themselves to take full advantage of registry completion discounts.
Incorporating feedback from guests
As we’ve discussed in other posts, a couple’s engagement period is an odd, somewhat unique time when they will receive lots of advice and input from nearly everyone around them. And a couple’s registry and gift selection are not immune from this input. Ha, not even close.
Couples will absolutely receive comments about their registries. Some will be helpful (“We noticed a key product we’d like to purchase went out of stock”), others less so (“Are you sure you want X product? We had X product and hated it.”). First off, take a moment to remind yourself that your wedding registry is yours and only you can truly know what you want and need. Try to ignore critical comments and trust your own instincts about what you, as a couple, want and need for your future.
For the more helpful guest inputs (about product stock, options, preferences, etc.), we do recommend couples be responsive. After all, these are the guests most ready and anxious to be generous gift-givers. It’s to a couple’s advantage to address their input.
Adding seasonal items and replacing out-of-stock items
We also recommend couples use their monthly check-ins to add seasonal items to the registries, which can add character and style to their overall gift selection. The availability of seasonal items will come and go over an engagement period and so guests will only be able to purchase them for pre-wedding events (or an actual wedding) that fall within the season the product is available. For example, if you have a spring engagement party, spring gifts can be added to your registry in advance of the event and removed when the season has passed.
One of the most important parts of maintaining a wedding registry is replacing or removing out-of-stock items. Over the course of an engagement (even shorter engagements), all couples will have to manage product inventory and it’s important to do so. Out-of-stock items can drive your guests to make off-registry purchases and cause you to miss out on your most needed items. We recommend couples check the availability of out-of-stock items at other stores where they may be registered. For example, if a product on your Target registry goes out of stock (not uncommon), you could check to see if it’s available to add at Crate & Barrel. Keep in mind, if you’ve chosen to register at different stores for their unique product offerings, this might only get you so far.
If you cannot locate an out-of-stock item at another retailer, you may be forced to select a replacement product. If you need to go this route, we recommend keeping a list of your original items (perhaps as browser bookmarks). This way you can track restocks and move the original items back to your registry when they become available again.
Leverage completion discounts and other post-wedding offers
As your wedding day nears, you’ll want to spend some time considering which registry completion discounts you want to take advantage of after your wedding. We have a comprehensive future post planned for how to best maximize completion discounts, but, for now, we’ll add two quick tips here as they pertain to registry maintenance.
First, couples planning to use their completion discounts for multiple, smaller items need to keep a close eye on how many products are left on their registries as their wedding nears so they are not left with too few items to apply their discounts to. Alternatively, if you plan to use your discount for larger, more expensive items, keep an eye out to make sure these items are not purchased by groups of guests pooling their money.
Second, carefully review the terms and conditions for each of your registry completion discounts to ensure you are following any unique rules or restrictions. For example, couples should try to avoid being in a position where a completion discount is only good on products up to a certain dollar amount and they’ve earmarked products in excess of that total. Spread larger ticket items across multiple registries so that all can be purchased at a discount without bumping into retailer restrictions.
Minimize returns and other post-wedding hassles
As we’ve detailed in a recent post, your wedding day, unfortunately, does not mark the end of registry management. Soon enough (hopefully after your honeymoon), you’ll need to turn your attention to returns and filling in any key gaps in the gifts you’ve received. The good news is, by maintaining your registry throughout your engagement, you can minimize the amount of work you’ll need to do.
During your monthly registry check-ins, briefly skim through all the products you’ve selected. This doesn’t need to take up a lot of time, but it will allow you to quickly think through your selections and remove any items you’ve changed your mind on. Every product you remove is one potential return you’re saving yourself from making after your wedding. In addition, when you remove products you’ve cooled on, you are, in effect, channeling your guests’ attention and purchasing power toward your higher-priority items.
Also, during your monthly check-ins, you can check in on how certain products or product categories are performing. For example, if you are nearing your wedding day and you’ve received 1 of 12 requested silverware place settings, you might assess that this item will not be fulfilled by your guests. This will leave you with a choice. You can leave the item on your registry and plan to use gift cards and/or completion discounts to get the remaining units or remove it from your registry altogether and come up with a different purchase plan. Like removing unwanted items, removing poor performing items will help focus your guests’ attention on other parts of your registry.
Final thoughts
In the whirlwind period of wedding planning, keeping your registry up to date might seem like a minor task easily overshadowed by other more important to-dos. But trust us, neglecting your registry can lead to headaches down the aisle.
A well-maintained registry isn’t just a list of desired gifts; it’s a roadmap to guide your guests toward items that reflect you and your partner’s individual needs and preferences. It’s about ensuring each gift brings joy and utility into your newlywed life.
So, how can you keep your registry in top shape? It’s simple—shift your mindset from viewing the registry process as a one-time chore to embracing it as an ongoing activity. Regular check-ins and updates are key. Whether it’s refining your must-haves, adding seasonal flair, or replacing out-of-stock items, each maintenance action will keep your registry fresh and relevant for your guests. So, future newlyweds, let your registry reflect your journey together—a curated collection of items that set the stage for a lifetime of love and adventure. Happy registering!
