It won’t take engaged couples long to realize that they have entered a period of their lives when seemingly everyone they encounter has some sort of important advice to offer. Second only, perhaps, to pregnancy, advice is offered freely and, often, without filter.
As one can imagine or, for most readers of this blog, as you’ve likely experienced, this advice can run the gamut from innocuous input about wedding planning to unbelievably intimate counsel you very much could do without.
For our purposes today, we will focus on wedding registry advice (of course). Without realizing it, many of us, even far before our own engagements, have had a seemingly innate sense of what goes on a wedding registry. A big part of this is our upbringing as we take a lifetime of cues from our parents or whomever we were raised by as to what items must be present in our homes. Other input is more direct. We can all envision a well-meaning mother or family member pulling out a cherished kitchen item at a holiday gathering and recounting exactly who gave it to them at their wedding.
The advice and other inputs we collect as grow up and get closer to our own weddings are not without merit and, certainly, not bad. These inputs give our otherwise ordinary physical possessions meaning and create connection across generations.
But sometimes these inputs translate into products added to nearly every registry without much consideration of whether they are needed. Through our own experience and conversations with many couples, we have come up with a list of common wedding registry items we recommend against registering for. Here is our list.
Fine China
Fine China is likely the first product that comes to mind when thinking about items to leave off your list. And it’s certainly one that’s steadily fallen out of favor for many couples over the years. We admit, we registered for and received a full set of China. And in the 15 years since our wedding, I think we’ve maybe used it five or six times.
Our biggest beefs with China are its price, limited use, and storage challenges. First, China is expensive, and it really doesn’t make sense to have a partial set. It’s basically all or nothing. And assembling a full set will occupy a significant portion of your guest’s purchasing power. To be frank, this money is better spent elsewhere on items you had decided against registering for because of price or upgrading to higher end, higher quality versions of items you did plan to add.
Second, China is notoriously difficult to use and clean. We are fortunate ours is dishwasher safe, but lots of China sets are not. Even when a set is dishwasher safe, China’s use is difficult to justify and, given its cost, can often be more stress (about breaking pieces, etc.) than it’s worth.
Finally, China sets are large, and most newlyweds’ homes are undoubtedly not. It’s certainly not going to be stored in your kitchen cabinets where your everyday dinnerware will go. Owning China forces couples into owning and finding room for a China-storing piece of furniture like a hutch. Hutches are unwieldy to say the least and are themselves quite expensive. The alternative is storage bags that can be stowed in a closet or other storage location.
Crystal Glassware
Crystal glassware or stemware has fallen out of favor faster even than fine China and for a lot of the same reasons. In fact, you could almost take our reasoning against fine China above and swap in crystal glassware. All of the arguments against registering for China apply to crystal.
Even more so than China, crystal is notoriously fragile and difficult to store. And where China can be stacked, crystal glassware cannot and thus requires an even larger storage footprint. At best, Crystal glassware will take up an entire shelf in a kitchen cabinet. And at worst, like China, will require some sort of large piece of storage furniture like a hutch.
One additional point of detraction for us with crystal is style. We know everyone’s style differs, and that’s great, but for us, crystal glassware rarely finds a place on our table. We prefer a sleeker, modern-leaning style for our tableware and crystal is most decidedly the opposite of that.
Serveware
We’ll start our discussion of serveware with a big caveat. Hosting and serving large meals are very important for lots of couples or they aspire, as a married couple, to make this a big part of their lives. This was true for us as an engaged couple. We had strong visions and hopes of one day having a home large enough to host large gatherings of family and friends. 15 years later we are still trying to make this vision a reality.
And so for some couples, registering for high quality serveware implements will be non-negotiable. We think that’s great. But for most couples, a middle path exists.
Our biggest complaints with serveware are price and how difficult it can be to store. And for some reason, we have found that higher end serveware pieces (think platters, drink servers, etc.) can more difficult to store while lower end pieces are more likely to stack, nest, etc. Further, you’ll naturally care less about lower end pieces and so stacking them in a plastic tote in the garage will be less of a concern and you’ll feel less obligated to commit valuable kitchen cabinet space to them.
Over the years, we have found that inexpensive, but nice looking serveware is very easy to come by, especially if you live near a restaurant or catering supply store. We’ve even found surprisingly nice platters and other pieces at dollar stores. We think most couples can do just fine with cheap or middle quality serveware that can easily be stored for infrequent use.
Knife Sets
We feel especially passionate about kitchen knives and how much couples can save by skipping knife sets. There are few if any other parts of a wedding registry where couples can save a bunch of money while getting higher quality pieces and end up with a much smaller storage footprint in their homes. This is as foolproof a decision as can be made while registering.
To start, knife sets are usually quite large and unwieldy and for little benefit as they are typically filled with a lot of lower quality or lower utility knives. To get a truly high-quality knife set, you will need to look at sets that are a minimum of $500, but more likely upwards of $700 or $800. Otherwise, they will have a least some filler.
But even more important than price, we argue most against the utility of knife sets versus individually selected knives. In our experience, most kitchen tasks can be accomplished with just two knives: a chef knife and a paring knife. Add a serrated bread knife and you’re basically done. In fact, this is our exact recommendation for couples, register for the highest quality chef, paring, and bread knives you can muster. If you prepare, eat, and or serve a lot of steaks, you could add a standalone set of steak knives with their own storage case.
Note that we did not say highest-priced knives, we specifically say highest quality. In the last decade or so, we have seen a huge increase in the availability of high-quality, low-cost knives. For example, one of our favorite value picks for a good chef knife is only about $60. Our favorite paring knife is only $12!
Over time, you can decide if you have more niche cutting needs like boning, filleting, or extensive chopping that could benefit from having more task-specific knives, and you can add these later as one-off, inexpensive additions. And we won’t go into this at length, but if you learn the surprisingly easy to master art of home knife sharpening, you can quite literally turn almost any thrift store knife into a razor.
Specialty Kitchen Gadgets
Now for anyone who happens to visit our kitchen, you might call us out for not following our own guidance when it comes to specialty kitchen gadgets. We’ll be the first to admit, we have our fair share, but there’s an explanation. Nearly all are gadgets we’ve been gifted (since our wedding) and will soon end up in a donation bag or they are deliberately selected gadgets that fit a specific kitchen need we’ve discovered over time.
Kitchen gadgets are notoriously difficult to store and can take up quite a bit of space. And most of their intended uses can usually be accomplished (and sometimes to greater effect) with other more common kitchen tools.
Our recommendation is less a rule and more a note of caution. Tread lightly with specialty kitchen gadgets and focus on ones you know will accomplish tasks you will engage in most often. Avoid gimmicky or seemingly too-good-to-be-true produc
Useless specialty kitchen gadgets are one of the reasons we don’t miss Bed, Bath, and Beyond, a former wedding registry behemoth. This store was filled with them.
Anything Personalized or Monogrammed (or His and Hers Sets)
While registering, some couples encounter the allure of personalized or monogrammed items, as well as “his and hers” sets. These offerings can seem irresistibly charming at first glance, promising to add a unique touch to a couple’s new home. However, we urge couples to approach these options with caution.
Personalized or monogrammed items limit flexibility and longevity. They may seem romantic at the outset, but will quickly feel outdated or mismatched, detracting from the cohesive look and feel of your home. Additionally, these items come with a significant price premium that is much better directed toward other, more useful products. Also, can we be blunt? Personalized items are just so kitschy and should be avoided on style grounds alone.
Final Thoughts
As couples embark on the journey of creating their wedding registry, they often encounter a flood of advice on what items are deemed essential. Yet, through our experiences and conversations with numerous couples, we’ve come to realize that the traditional registry checklist doesn’t always align with modern preferences and lifestyles. Rather than adhering strictly to convention, we encourage couples to take a more thoughtful and personalized approach to their registry. By considering the practicality, utility, and relevance of each item, couples can curate a registry that truly reflects their unique needs and aspirations. It’s not about dismissing tradition entirely, but rather about embracing a mindset of intentional selection and prioritizing items that will enrich their everyday lives together. So as couples embark on this registry journey, we invite them to trust their instincts, embrace their individuality, and enjoy the process of crafting a registry that’s as authentic and meaningful as their story.
